She Never Existed
by Bensidyshipper15
Summary: Olivia Benson gets put into Witness Protection in Montana. She has to learn to adjust to life in a new place. Just when Olivia thinks life couldn't be worse, she meets Brian Cassidy.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Yay a new story! I really had no clue what to call this story so I just like took a quote from what she thinks. Please leave a review and I will try and update as soon as possible. Enjoy :)**

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><p>"<em>Barnett, put your hands where I can see them!" Olivia stood less than five feet from the perp they had been trying to catch for three weeks now. Her gun was drawn, pointed at his chest. She could hear sirens in the distance; she knew it was Fin and Rollins. She and Amaro had chased Michael Barnett on foot. She had lost Nick a while ago, but she knew he knew where she was when she radioed him five minutes ago. <em>

"_Barnett put the gun down now." _

_He didn't answer. He just stood there, pointing the gun at Olivia's chest. _

"_Don't think I won't shoot you; because I will." Olivia readied herself. _

_Just as she was about to ask him to put the gun down one more time, the squad car Fin and Rollins were in came around the corner. _

_There was a loud noise. Olivia felt a sharp pain. She put her hand on her chest and fell to the ground; her blood beginning to pool around her. _

"_10-13! 10-13! We have an officer down." Rollins came running to Olivia while Fin arrested Barnett. _

"_Okay, Liv, you have to stay with me. Look in my eyes. Stay with me." Rollins had tears in her eyes as she applied pressure to the gunshot wound on her Sergeants chest. It was just below her right collar bone. _

_Nick and Fin came running to where Olivia and Rollins where. Nick was pale, he stood back a few feet. He was in total shock. _

"_Come on, Liv. Stay with us." Fin pleaded. He and Amanda were applying pressure to the wound. _

_Olivia began slipping in and out of consciousness. _

"_Liv the ambulance is just about here. Just hang on a little bit longer. Come on Liv." _

_The last thing she remembered was the paramedics jumping out of the ambulance before the world went black. _

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><p>It was quiet. Too quiet. There was no sirens, or cars or anything. Just the wind slightly blowing through the trees. She sat on the front deck of her new home in Montana.<p>

The town had a population of about 600 people. The street she lived on had 8 houses, 6 of which were actually lived in. Her house was one of the bigger ones on the street. It was two stories, had a deck that wrapped around the whole house, and a sunroom on the second floor above the deck roof. She had to admit, the house was beautiful; but it was big for only one person.

She hadn't met any of her neighbours yet. She had only moved in a week ago, and this was the first time she had actually left her house.

She looked at the time on her watch, 5:48 pm. She was beginning to feel hungry. She stood from her seat on the deck and went towards the door to cook supper.

"Excuse me?"

She turned around and saw a woman, probably about mid 30's standing on the sidewalk leading up to her deck holding a casserole dish.

"I noticed you moved in a few days ago and I wanted to welcome you to our neighbourhood. I made this casserole for you, in case you haven't had time to go get groceries yet."

She walked down the three steps from the deck so she was standing on the sidewalk in front of the woman.

"Thank you. You didn't have to do that, but thank you." She smiled and accepted the casserole from the woman.

"I'm Iris Thompson by the way." She smiled kindly.

"Monica Baxter."

"It's nice to meet you, Monica. I live in the house just across the street. If you need anything like directions or something feel free to drop by. I also have two sons, Eric is nine and Weston is seven. They always are interested when there is a new neighbour, so if they knock on your door, just send them home."

Monica laughed slightly. "I don't mind. I love kids. And I'll be sure to get this dish back to you soon."

"Oh its fine. No rush. So do you have kids? Married?"

She shook her head. "No. No husband, no kids. I came from Chicago, I wanted a change."

Iris nodded. "Well welcome to Montana! It's boring yet peaceful here. You are pretty much in the middle of nowhere now, so there isn't a lot to do like in the city."

"I think that is the change I needed. Just a calm area."

Iris nodded. "Well I better go, I have three hungry boys to feed. I'll talk with you later, Monica. Bye!"

She watched as Iris left her yard and then went into the house. She locked the door behind her, still not comfortable with where she was yet. She set the casserole on the on the island and cut a piece for herself. She sat at the bar stool and began eating.

Tears filled her eyes. Soon the few tears turned to sobs. She was homesick. She hated being someone she wasn't. Today was the first time she had ever introduced herself as her cover.

Olivia Benson was dead. Her life in New York never existed.

She missed Fin, Amaro and even Rollins. She hated the fact that they thought she was dead. She hated the fact that all the people Olivia has ever known or worked with or helped thought she was dead. Olivia Benson, was dead.

Monica Baxter was alive. No one here knows that Olivia Benson ever existed. That's how it is supposed to be. Olivia Benson, the decorated Sergeant of the Manhattan Special Victims Unit, never lived. Monica Baxter, the realtor from Chicago, she existed.

She pushed her food away. She couldn't eat anymore. She missed the city. She missed everything about New York. She hated Montana. It was too calm and quiet. She hated the fact that she had to be a realtor now. She would give anything to have her life back.

She put the casserole into the fridge. It had been a long week and she needed rest. She climbed the stairs and went into her new bedroom. She put on her pyjamas and fell asleep thinking about her old life in New York.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Here is Chapter Two! Thank you for the few reviews, I appreciate the positive feedback I've been getting. Please leave a review. Reviews=updates :) **

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><p>The screen door slammed shut behind her as she walked onto the deck. She sat on the couch on the deck and inhaled deeply. The air was crisp on the early May morning. She pulled her cardigan tighter around her and wrapped her hands around her coffee mug. She looked out and saw the beautiful sunrise on the flat Montana land. She sipped her coffee and enjoyed the beautiful Montana morning.<p>

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><p>She sighed as she looked in the fridge. The little food she had was no longer there. She would have to leave the comfort of her new home and go get groceries. She had to admit, she was dreading it. What if Michael Barnett's people knew where she was? What if someone recognized her as Olivia Benson? She would have to face her fears and leave anyway.<p>

She did her makeup and put her hair into a ponytail. She grabbed her purse and the keys to the car the Marshalls had given her. Olivia entered the garage attached to the house where the car was parked and she got in. She opened the garage door and started the vehicle. She slowly backed the car out of the garage and closed the door once she was out. She took a deep breath and drove off down the street.

She drove around the town for a few minutes before she found Main Street. As she drove she saw children walking on the sidewalks going to school. Olivia smiled; she kind of liked this small town life; even though she hadn't been living it long at all. It just seemed like a safe environment.

She drove down Main Street, surprised to only see about five or six cars parked in front of the few stores. She looked at the few stores that lined the street. A Pharmacy, a couple grocery stores, a bank, a bakery, a bar and a post office. There was not a whole lot. Olivia parked her car in front of one of the grocery stores and got out. She locked the car and walked into the store. She looked around and saw a few people all visiting and laughing. She couldn't help but feel out of place.

Olivia walked up and down the aisles with her shopping cart, picking a few items that would last her a week or so. Finally she was finished shopping and headed to the check out. There was only one check out and one cashier, so Olivia would have to wait in line. She got into the short line and stood beside a woman with two young children. Just as the woman was starting to put her items onto the check out, she looked back and saw Olivia with her very few items.

"You can go ahead of me." She smiled at Olivia.

Olivia looked at her somewhat shocked. No one in New York ever did this, and if they did it was a rare occurrence. "Uh, no that's fine. You have two young kids I'm sure you want to get home."

She shook her head. "You have few items, go ahead."

Olivia smiled her thanks and walked past the woman and put her few items on the checkout.

"So I have never seen you around town before. You just move here recently?" The lady was trying to get her young baby to settle in the car seat.

"Oh yeah. I got here last week. Moved here from Chicago." Olivia answered as she finished putting her items up.

"I see. Well welcome to our town. It's a small town, so I'll most likely see you around a lot."

Olivia smiled. "Yeah."

"I'm Stacy by the way." She shook Olivia's hand.

"I'm Monica." She smiled.

"Well just a tip about small towns, everybody knows everybody, and rumours travel fast. But small towns also have their perks. We are like our own little bubble of the world. The nearest city is 45 minutes away."

Olivia nodded. "Okay, thank you. I hope to talk with you again sometime." Olivia took her bag from the cashier and said goodbye to Stacy.

She put her grocery bags into the back seat of her car and then climbed into the driver's seat. She sighed and backed out of her parking space, driving back home. She couldn't help but feel lonely. She saw people visiting on the sidewalks. She missed her friends back in New York. She missed them so much.

When she got back to her house she parked her car outside on the driveway and locked it once she left. She walked into her house and closed the door behind her. She put the four bags of food she had on the counter and stood, staring into space for a moment. There was no noise whatsoever. You would have thought she was in complete isolation in a cabin in the woods. She felt like she was in isolation. And she hated it.

She slowly walked to the living room in the large house and sat on the couch. She finally allowed the tears she had been holding back since she first got here to flow. She put her head in her hands and cried. She cried for herself. She really hated it here in Montana. New York was where she belonged. She was Olivia Benson. Not Monica Baxter.

She dried the tears from her eyes and stood up. She looked at the papers the Marshalls have given her with information about the job she started in six days. She had to travel to the city that was 45 minutes away that Stacy had mentioned to her. She sighed and put the paper back into the desk drawer in the corner of living room.

This small town was so boring. There wasn't anything for her to do. She wanted more than anything to be able to go into her normal job as Olivia Benson and do her regular work. She walked to the big window in the front of her living and looked out into the street. She saw a man getting into his car and driving away, she assumed to work. Out of the corner of her eye she saw the woman who had given her the casserole yesterday, Iris, leaving her house. She stepped back from the window a little bit, not wanting her to see her.

Part of her was happy while the other part was annoyed when she started walking up her driveway. Olivia heard her footsteps on the front porch and soon after the doorbell rang. Olivia hesitated and then walked to the door and opened it.

"Hi Monica! I just wanted to see if you would be interested in coming over for a coffee or something? The boys are in school and my husband is at work."

Olivia wasn't really sure how to respond. But she wasn't Olivia here. She was Monica.

"I guess I could for a little bit." Olivia nodded in agreement.

"Okay. I just thought it would be nice for you, so you have a familiar face around town. Everyone needs a friend or two."

Olivia laughed. "Yeah, that would be nice."

Olivia and Iris left her house and walked across the street to Iris's house.

Olivia still wasn't sure about her new life here in Montana, but she knew if she got at least one friend, she would be okay.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I hope you all enjoy the update! Thank you for the reviews :) I really appreciate it. Please leave a review, if I get a few more reviews I will update within the next couple days. :)**

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><p>He walked into the squad room and looked at her desk again. Like he did every morning. Just hoping that maybe this time she would be sitting there, waiting for him so they could start their next case. But of course she never was.<p>

Olivia Benson had died. It hurt him every day that they couldn't save her. Of course, Nick blamed himself for her death. If he would have stayed with her during the chase maybe she wouldn't have been shot. Maybe he would've been shot and Olivia would still be here. But he decided to leave her. It was his biggest regret. He was the reason Olivia Benson died that night; he would always blame himself.

He sat at his desk and stared at her empty desk across from his. He felt a hand on his shoulder, shaking him from his thoughts.

"You okay, Nick?" Amanda leaned against his desk. She knew Nick was taking Olivia's death hard and that he blamed himself.

"Yeah." He looked down at the papers in front of him, pretending to be interested in them.

"Nick, it isn't your fault. It could have been anyone." Her voice was quiet, she knew Nick didn't like to talk about it.

"No, it is my fault. If I would have just- if I would have stayed with her this wouldn't have happened. I didn't have my partners back and this happens." He stood up and walked out of the squad room.

Amanda watched him walk out. She stood up straighter when she saw Lieutenant Tucker walk into the squad room.

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><p>Olivia sadly walked to her car parked on the driveway. Today was her first day of work. The last few days Olivia had grown extremely homesick. She hadn't left her house in six days and she had barely eaten anything. She hated to admit it, but she was becoming depressed.<p>

She got in the driver's seat and backed out of the driveway. Today was also the first day she was leaving the town. The city was 45 minutes away and she still had to find the office building of her new job. She drove down the highway. As far as she could tell she was the only person travelling on it right now. She hated this small town life. She missed New York and the busy streets.

After driving around the city for a good fifteen minutes to find her work, she finally found it. She parked in the parking lot that was for employees and got out of her car, locking it behind her. She entered the building and walked to the front desk.

"Hi, I'm Monica Baxter, I transferred from Chicago. I'm supposed to see Victoria Clark?"

The receptionist nodded. "Victoria's office is down that hall, first one on your right." She smiled at her.

"Great, thank you." She smiled and walked towards her new boss's office. She took a deep breath before knocking on the door. She heard a woman say 'come in' and she opened the door and entered.

"How can I help you?" The woman behind the desk rose and smiled.

"I'm Monica Baxter, I transferred from Chicago."

"Oh, Monica! It's a pleasure to meet you!" She smiled and shook her hand. "Please, take a seat."

Olivia sat down and looked around the office. She was not looking forward to being a realtor at all.

"So I heard great things about you from your boss in Chicago, he said you are one of the best. I'm looking forward to having you here." She smiled and remained standing.

Olivia nodded. "Thank you."

"I assume you know all there is to know about being a realtor, so I will give you a quick tour and then show you to your office!" She walked towards the door and gestured for Olivia to follow her.

They walked down the hall. There were four other offices, five including Victoria's office.

"This is Gregory Marks office, he is also a realtor. He had been working with me for ten years now." They walked past and stopped at the next office on the opposite side of the hall.

"Samantha Wilkins just started working here about three months ago. She is out with a client right now, but you'll like her. She is very friendly."

Olivia nodded and they walked to the second last office.

"And this is Kyle Peters. Also a realtor." Kyle waved from his desk, Olivia smiled at him.

Victoria led Olivia to the last office. "And this will be your office. Since you just started today, the first few days will just be getting settled in your office and other little things around here. In the next week or so I will be sending clients to you."

Olivia nodded and stepped into her new office.

"Feel free to add you own personal touch in the next few days. So I'll let you get settled with what you have now." Victoria smiled and walked out of her office.

Olivia sighed. This was going to be hard. She hoped that she wouldn't have to be in this situation long.

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><p>She parked her car onto her driveway. It was 5:30 pm and she hadn't eaten all day. All the people in her office had went out for lunch, but Olivia had refused. She didn't feel hungry and she honestly did not want to eat. Of course, they brought back a bagel and a coffee for her. She drank the coffee, but she threw out the bagel.<p>

She got out of her car and locked it behind her. Just as she was walking up the steps of her deck to go into the house she felt something hard hit her back. Just as she turned around she heard quiet little laughs.

"Hello?" She stepped off the step and walked onto the sidewalk.

She was about to walk into her house when she saw them. Iris's two little boys. They were launching their foam balls at her. She half smiled and walked towards them. She crouched down in front of them; they were hiding behind the small bush on Olivia's lawn.

"You must be Eric. And you must be Weston." She smiled at them.

They laughed and nodded. "What is your name?" The younger one, Weston, asked.

"I'm Monica."

They smiled. "Mommy said you were her new friend."

Olivia smiled. "Yeah, I guess we are friends. But you two should probably head home now. Your mom is probably worried about you."

They nodded and stood up, racing to their house.

Olivia chuckled and walked into her house. Locking the door behind her she climbed up the stairs, skipping supper yet again that week. She had a quick shower and then climbed into bed, dreaming about New York City. She wondered if her squad had caught the other accomplices to her murder. She wondered if they missed her as much as she missed them.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I hope you guys actually enjoy this chapter. Please leave a review! I really love getting feedback from all of you, it makes my day. Enjoy :)**

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><p>Lieutenant Tucker walked into the squad room and approached Amanda. Fin walked over to where they were standing.<p>

"Detectives, is your Commanding Officer in his office?"

"Yeah, he's there." Fin answered and walked away.

Tucker nodded and walked towards the Captains office; he entered without knocking.

"Murphy. I have some information I think you would like to hear."

"Please, come in Lieutenant Tucker. Have a seat." He said sarcastically, he learned in his short time at SVU to not trust IAB and to dislike Tucker; almost every Detective seemed to.

"I will." Tucker sat down in the chair across from Murphy.

"What do you have to tell me?" He continued looking through his file, acting like her didn't care.

"We have a lead on Sergeant Olivia Benson's murder."

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><p>Olivia sighed as she entered her work building. She had been working here for a week and did not like it at all. Everyone was friendly, and they made her feel welcome, but she was bored. She did the same thing every day. She needed a change.<p>

Olivia walked down the short hall; saying good morning to everyone is their office as she passed. She entered her office and sat at her desk. She logged onto her computer and began her daily routine that would really only last until lunch. Then she would pretend to continue all afternoon. She was getting very little sleep lately and she was perfectly fine not to have more work to do.

Olivia was shaken from her thoughts when there was a knock on her office door.

"Come in." She looked to the door and Victoria walked in.

"Hello Monica."

"Hi. Is there something I can do for you?"

"I told you when you first got here that I would begin sending clients to you after a week or so. Well I have a client coming to see you this afternoon."

"Oh. Okay." She nodded. She was nervous; she had never done this sort of thing before.

"I thought it would be a good start for you here. He wants a house outside the city. Close enough that he can drive to work every day. I know you live out of the city and I thought you would be helpful to him."

Olivia nodded. "Okay."

Victoria smiled. "Great. He will be here at about 2:00." She stood and left Olivia's office and shut the door behind her. Olivia sighed and leaned back in her chair. She wasn't looking forward to this afternoon.

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><p>It was 1:45 and Olivia got out the paperwork required for when her first client arrived. She was sorting things out on her desk when there was a knock on the door. Victoria had told her to answer the door when she was expecting a client, it was polite.<p>

She stood and walked to the door. She opened it and in front of her stood her first client. She smiled warmly, "Hello, come in." She stepped out of the way and allowed him to enter her office.

"Please, have a seat and we can begin." Olivia smiled and walked back to her chair behind the desk.

"Thank you." The man smiled. His smile made Olivia feel butterflies in her stomach; she had never felt this way after first meeting someone before.

"I'm Monica Baxter by the way."

"Brian Cassidy." They shook hands; Olivia blushed slightly. She silently cursed to herself, she shouldn't feel like this. She had only known him for five minutes.

Olivia and Brian talked about what Brian looked for in a house and what location would be best for him.

"Okay. I have two houses in a town 45 minutes from here and one that is an hour away from here. We can look at all three and go from there." She smiled.

Brian nodded. "I don't want to bother with the one that is an hour away. My sister lives here and said winters are harsh. I can't be late for work due to bad weather."

Olivia nodded. "Okay. I'll see if I can find a couple more houses in the other town that match what you are looking for."

"Sounds great. Thank you Monica. You've been a great help."

"That's my job." She smiled and stood up, walking Brian to the office door.

He smiled at her, making Olivia blush yet again. "So Monica, would you like to grab coffee with me sometime?"

Olivia smiled. "That would be lovely, Brian. But I don't mix business with personal life."

Brian nodded. "I understand. I'll see you sometime soon then."

She nodded and opened the door for Brian. He smiled once more and left her office. Olivia shut the door behind him and walked back to her desk. She exhaled and couldn't help but grin, she really liked Brian. She knew she couldn't date her client, but that didn't stop the feelings she felt for him.

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><p>Olivia got home late that night. She had to finish the paperwork to give to Victoria about her new client. Surprisingly it had taken longer than she had expected. She had to try and act like she knew what she was doing, but truth be told she had absolutely no clue. She had asked Samantha a few questions behind Victoria's back. But her answers had been vague and really no help at all.<p>

Olivia hadn't eaten all day. Or the past couple days for that matter. She had stopped at a fast food restaurant on her way out of the city to get some food. She had devoured the burger she ordered on the drive home. She didn't realize just how hungry and run down she was.

She climbed the three steps on her porch and unlocked her front door. She took her jacket and shoes off and walked into the house. She went into the kitchen and finished her supper. She threw her garbage out and went upstairs to have a quick shower.

When she finished she climbed into her bed. Something changed in her that day. She felt happier than she had in a while. She also felt safer. She had Brian to thank for that. He was the first person that honestly made her feel that Montana wasn't the worst thing that could happen to her. For the first time since she arrived she felt safe in her new home. She didn't lock the door that night; and that made her feel comfortable in her new home.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Yay an update! If i can get at least 5 reviews I will update within the next three-four days. I hope you all enjoy :)**

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><p>Murphy put the file in his hands down. "The man who killed her was arrested on scene. Did he escape?"<p>

Tucker shook his head. "He is still in custody. Upon further investigation we found that there is more to the Sergeant's murder than we suspected."

"What do you mean, Tucker?" Murphy was growing impatient quickly. He had only known Olivia a short period of time, but he knew her well enough that he would do whatever it took to put away her murderer.

"Michael Barnett has two brothers. A few years ago Benson tried to put away his brother Henry Barnett. He wasn't convicted but he had a few years on parole. Ever since Michael, Henry and their other brother James have had a vendetta against Benson. They've been planning her murder for months."

Murphy thought for a moment. "We need to find Henry and James before they target people Benson was close to."

Tucker stood up from his seat and sighed, "That's the problem. They already have."

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><p>Olivia sat in her office working on paperwork for her clients. Brian had come in a week ago and they had looked at the houses Olivia had found for him. He had found one that we perfect and had contacted the owners. He was still waiting for them to get back to him about it.<p>

Olivia had gained two more clients since Brian. She was helping a married couple with a new baby look for a house in the city and another married couple with two teenagers who also wanted a house in the city.

Olivia had just finished half of her paperwork when her office phone began to ring.

"Good afternoon, Monica Baxter speaking."

"Monica, there's a Brian Cassidy here at the front desk; he wants to talk to you." It was the receptionist.

"Oh. Sure, send him in." She couldn't help but smile; she hadn't seen Brian for a few days.

She hung up the phone and quickly tried to organize her desk. It was cluttered with paper. It reminded her of her desk back at SVU in New York. Always disorganized and cluttered. To her it was perfectly organized and she knew exactly where everything was. To others it looked like a mess and that anything could get lost on it. Olivia felt a bit homesick thinking of that. She missed walking into the squad room and Fin teasing her about the mountain of disorganization on her desk.

The knock on the door shook her from her thoughts. She stood and opened the door revealing Brian. She smiled when she saw him and she couldn't help but notice that his face lit up when she opened the door.

"Hi Brian, come in." She stepped out of the way and allowed Brian to walk in and take a seat.

"How are you, Monica?" He smiled at her and sat down.

"I'm okay. And yourself?" She sat down in her desk chair.

"I'm good. Work has been going well and I got the house."

Olivia looked up at him and smiled. "You got the house? Brian that's great."

He smiled. "I get possession next Wednesday. It'll be nice to have my own place and not have to live with my sister."

Olivia nodded. "I'm glad you got it. It's a nice house."

"Really that's the only reason I came. Other than the fact that I wanted to see you again." He smiled at her.

Olivia blushed and grinned at him. "You wanted to see me?"

He nodded and leaned back in the chair like it was no big deal. "Yeah. I really do like you Monica."

She smiled at him. She didn't know what to say.

"I was wondering if you want to go out with me sometime? You know dinner and movie type thing?"

"Brian I would love to. But as I said before, I don't mix business with personal life."

Brian nodded. "If I remember correctly, in about six days I am no longer going to be your client."

Olivia laughed. "That is true."

"I'm going to ask you again because third time's a charm. Monica will you go out on a date with me?" He smiled at her.

She laughed and nodded. "After the six days are up I will go on a date with you."

Brian clapped his hands together. "It's a date. I'll pick you up at your house Friday at seven. Where is your house?"

She laughed again and grabbed a paper and wrote her cell number on it. "Just call me when the six days are up and we can go from there."

Brian took the paper and read the number a few times. "I look forward to calling this number."

They both chuckled and just looked at each other for a couple minutes.

Brian broke the silence and stood up. "Well I have to get back to work and from what I can see, so do you." He pointed to the cluttered papers that she had failed to organize before he came in.

She nodded. "Yes I do." She stood and walked Brian to the door.

"Bye, Monica. I'll call you in exactly six days." He smiled and gently squeezed her hand as he left her office.

Olivia shut the door and let the breath she had been holding out. She really liked Brian. She was honestly so happy he got the house. She was glad that he wasn't going to be her client anymore so that she could see him outside of work.

But Olivia couldn't help but feel guilty. She wanted to get to know Brian more and possibly start a relationship with him; but she would be lying to him the whole time. She wasn't Monica Baxter. She wasn't a realtor. She isn't from Chicago. But did she want to form a relationship with someone she would do nothing but lie to?

A few hours later Olivia sat in the Starbucks down the street from her office. She had gotten off work twenty minutes ago but she didn't want to go home to the big empty house. It was lonely and too quiet. At least in New York the sound of the busy streets was always heard. Here in Montana there was nothing. The odd breeze in the night or coyote howling in the distance was all that could be heard.

She stirred her coffee with the stir stick. Tears filled her eyes. She hated all the lying she was doing and all that she had left behind. She hated the fact that her friends back in New York all thought she was dead. She hated the fact that here she was never Olivia Benson, she was only Monica Baxter. She squeezed her eyes shut; willing the tears to go away.

She choked back a sob and wiped her eyes. From what she could see she was the only one in the Starbucks. She took a sip of her coffee to try and calm herself. It didn't work. She grabbed her jacket from beside her in the booth and was about to stand to leave when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Slightly gasping she turned around.

"Monica? Are you okay?" Brian sat across from her in the booth and took her hands in his. "What's wrong?"

She shook her head. "I'm fine Brian. I just have a lot going on right now."

"You don't look fine. Do you want me to drive you home? We can talk if you want."

She shook her head again. "Brian I'm okay. Really I am. I just need to be alone and think things through. Thank you though." She pulled her hands from his and stood up, putting her jacket on.

"Monica if you need anything I'll be here."

"I appreciate that Brian." She nodded.

He stood and smiled at her. "Six days."

She smiled and nodded. "Six days."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: In this chapter you will find out who was murdered and Olivia and Brian go on their first date. Please leave a review with your thoughts :) **

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><p>Tucker and Murphy walked into the apartment that was the crime scene. There were officers and crime scene investigators everywhere. They walked into the bathroom of the apartment and found the body. Blood pooled around the body.<p>

Melinda Warner stood sadly. She looked at Murphy and Tucker. "She's been dead about five hours. Stabbed repeatedly in the torso. Also blunt force trauma to the head. She still wouldn't have made it if she was found sooner.

Murphy looked at the dead body. He didn't know who she was but he could tell Tucker and Warner knew. "Who is she?"

Warner looked at Tucker as if telling him he could tell him.

"Let's talk back at the precinct." Tucker answered and they walked out.

When they arrived at the precinct everyone seemed sad. Murphy assumed they must have worked with this woman before. They walked into the Commanding Officers office, Murphy sat behind the desk. "So who is she?"

Tucker sat down. "She's the former ADA of Manhattan SVU. Casey Novak. Detective Tutuola told me that she and Olivia remained friends and got lunch regularly."

Murphy sighed. "There better be some forensic evidence that can lead us to these guys."

"We can hope. But these guys know what they're doing."

* * *

><p>Olivia sat on the couch in her living room. She was reading a book, which was something she never used to do. She found that since she moved here and had a different job she had more extra time and could try things she never used to do. The other day while she was getting groceries she decided to stop by the library and get a couple books. Of course she had gotten two murder mystery books. But she also got romance novel. Back in New York, Casey Novak told her that when she needed to relax she would read books. Casey had always recommended books to her but she had never read them. Olivia decided to read one of the books that Casey had recommended. It was a Nicholas Sparks book. She thought she wouldn't like it. She wasn't one for romance. But it was surprisingly really good. She couldn't seem to put it down.<p>

Olivia was just about to start the next chapter when her cell phone began ringing. It was an unknown number. Confused she picked up. "Hello?"

'Hey, Monica. It's Brian." Olivia could hear his smile. She smiled, she was happy he had called her.

"Hey Brian."

"So it's been six days. Six days exactly." He sounded somewhat nervous. That made Olivia feel a little nervous.

"So it has been." She smiled

"Since I have moved in this morning and I am no longer your client, I was wondering if you would like to go out with me tonight?"

Olivia smiled. She couldn't believe that he was asking her out. She couldn't believe that he liked her this much to follow through with her wishes, like waiting six days.

"I would love too, Brian."

"Can I pick you up at 7:30? Does that work for you?"

"Yeah, that sounds great."

"May I ask where you live? So I can pick you up?"

Olivia laughed slightly. He sounded nervous. She told him where she lived and he wrote it down.

"Monica, we live in the same town. You knew that though." He chuckled.

She smiled. "Yeah. I did know that."

"I would like to think that you showed me this house for a reason then. So we could live close."

Olivia laughed. "You can think that, but I was just doing my job."

"Well I have to go. I need to unpack some of these boxes so I can actually wear something decent to our date."

Olivia laughed. "I'll see you tonight Brian."

"Bye, Monica."

She smiled and ended the call. She was excited to be going out with Brian. She really liked him. Olivia put her phone down and stood from the couch. It was 2:45 pm. She couldn't wait until Brian came.

At 7:20 pm there was a knock on Olivia's front door. She looked in the mirror one last time. She had straightened her hair so it looked a little longer than it actually is. Her makeup was a natural look, just enough but not a lot. She was wearing a blue dress that rested just above her knees. It was tight and showed off her curves. She had black high heels on that made her legs look long. Her necklace was her signature fearlessness necklace. Olivia left the room and went down to the front door to greet Brian.

She opened the door and smiled when she saw Brian. He was wearing jeans and a nice dress shirt with a tie. He looked handsome.

"Wow. Monica, you look beautiful." He smiled.

She blushed. "You don't look to bad yourself." She grabbed her pea coat from the coat closet and stepped out onto the deck next to Brian. He put his hand on the small of her back and led her down the steps and across the lawn to his car. He walked around to the passenger side with her and opened the door for her. Taking her hand he helped her into the seat.

"Such a gentleman." Olivia smirked at him.

He grinned and shut the door then went to the driver side. He climbed in and started the car, driving away from Olivia's house.

The drive to the city was not once quiet or awkward. They talked about everything. Getting to know each other. Olivia had learned that Brian had a sister and a brother, who he was both close with. Both were older than him. His sister, Kendra, lived here in the city with her husband and their two daughters. His brother, Joey, also lived here in the city with his wife and their three kids. Brian's parents lived in a town three hours away. They still lived in the house Brian grew up in. Brian had told her that he wasn't going to tell his family about her until they were sure they were going to have a relationship. He wanted more than anything to have a long-term relationship with Olivia, but he didn't want to rush her and make her feel uncomfortable.

Tonight was the first night Olivia had to use her cover story about her family. She felt guilty the whole time. Every word she said was lie. She had told him exactly what the marshals had told her to say.

"I was born and raised in Chicago. My father died when I was a baby, never knew him. I have an older brother, Travis, he lives in Boston. We aren't close at all. Haven't seen him in 10 years. My mother and aren't close either. I left Chicago because of her. We had a huge fight and last I heard of her she was moving to Boston to live with my brother."

"I'm sorry Monica. I really am." He squeezed her hand.

"It's okay." She smiled at him.

"If and when you meet my family, I know that they'll love you. They will accept you right away. They will treat you like family. I know they will."

She smiled at Brian. "I'm glad."

Brian parked the car in the parking lot of the restaurant they were going to be eating at. Olivia opened her door and was about to get out when Brian took her hand and helped her out. She smiled her thanks to him. They walked beside each other into the restaurant. They got a table right away and sat down. They ordered their drinks and looked at their menus.

Olivia could feel Brian's eyes on her. She looked up and sure enough they were. "What?" She laughed.

He shook his head. "You're just beautiful that's all."

She blushed and looked back at her menu. Just as the waitress came back she decided what she wanted. Brian ordered for himself then turned to her, "What would you like?"

She smiled. "I'll have the same as him."

He smiled, "Is that what you really wanted?"

She nodded and the changed the subject. "So what is your job?"

"I'm a detective. I work narcotics. I used to be a Special Victims Unit detective, but I transferred out and got a job here. It's the live victims that get to you more than the dead ones."

Olivia nodded. She understood that. The victims got to Olivia every day. But she couldn't ever have imagined another job. Yet here she was. She had to act like she didn't understand.

"Anyway. I was wondering something." Brian changed the subject.

"What's that?"

"Are you interested in a relationship? I understand if you're not, I mean we could just be friends. I just want you to know I really do like you Monica."

Olivia looked at him for a few seconds before answering. "At first I wasn't looking for a relationship, Brian. I just moved here. I have never been here before in my life. I'm starting over. But I realized I really like you to." She smiled when he smiled at her response.

"You have no idea how happy that makes me, Monica."

He reached for her hand and they held hands over the table, just looking into each other's eyes. Soon their food came. They ate and Brian paid the bill then they left the restaurant. The drive home was again filled with casual conversation. They laughed together and both were genuinely happy.

Brian pulled up onto Olivia's driveway and got out of the car the walk her to her door. When they reached her door Olivia turned around to speak to him.

"I had a great time Brian. Thank you."

He took her hand and brought it up to his lips and gently kissed it. "Me too. I'll talk to you tomorrow, Monica."

They said goodbye and Olivia entered her house. She walked up the stairs to her bedroom and changed into her pajamas. That night she lay awake in bed smiling. She could see herself having a long-term relationship with Brian. They only thing that worried her was all the lies she was forced to tell him.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Another one killed, someone else is now at risk. Please read and review, all your support means the world to me!**

* * *

><p>TWO MONTHS LATER<p>

* * *

><p>James Barnett sat in the driver's side of the car. He was parked outside an apartment building waiting for his brother Henry. They were trying to find out where Olivia Benson went to hide. They knew she was alive. They had seen her leave the hospital with the marshals. James was shaken from his thoughts when Henry knocked on the window of the passenger side. James reached over and opened the door for him.<p>

"Did he know where she is?" He asked Henry once he was seated.

"No. Now drive." He wiped his hands on his pants. James had assumed he has rubber gloves on and threw them out on his way out of the building.

James drove away from the apartment building. "What did he say?"

"He said the same thing that bitch lawyer said. Olivia is dead. Someone has to know where she is hiding." He slammed his fist on the dashboard in frustration.

"Did you kill him?"

Henry nodded. "He begged me not to kill him. Said he had a family. I told him they wouldn't miss him any. Stabbed him like I stabbed the lawyer."

James chuckled. "The lawyer and the former partner didn't know. Who's next?"

Henry thought for a minute. "I think within the next week or say we will pay the former Captain a visit."

* * *

><p>Amanda shakily hung the phone up and looked at Fin with wide eyes.<p>

"What's wrong?" he stood and went to her desk.

"Is Murphy in his office?" She stood and began walking there. She opened the door and Murphy was reading some case files. Fin and Nick followed Amanda into his office.

"We have a problem." Amanda said.

"What?" Murphy looked up at them.

"I just got off the phone with Tucker. He told me that Elliot Stabler was murdered last night."

Fin looked at Amanda. "Stabler was murdered? It was Barnett's brothers."

Murphy reached for his phone to call Tucker. "Casey Novak and Elliot Stabler both murdered within two months of each other. Both were close with Benson. These aren't random killings, these are revenge killings."

Nick shook his head. "It doesn't make sense. Olivia is dead."

Murphy nodded. "Some people are just really twisted detective."

* * *

><p>Olivia woke up wrapped tightly in Brian's arms. She smiled and moved a little. She felt Brian kiss the top of her head, "Morning beautiful." He whispered into her ear.<p>

She moved in his arms so she was facing him and smiled. Last night was the first night Olivia had spent the night with Brian. She had to admit, she liked waking up to someone in the morning.

"How did you sleep?" He smiled, pulling her closer to him.

"Really good." She smiled and softly kissed him.

Brian pulled back and smiled at her. "Can I make you something to eat?"

She grinned and sat up stretching her arms above her head. "Yeah. Pancakes?"

Brian sat up next to her. "Pancakes it is."

Olivia climbed out of the bed, wearing only Brian's t-shirt and her underwear.

"Do you have to work today?" Olivia asked Brian as he got out of bed and put his sweat pants on over his boxers.

"No. I took the day off."

Olivia smiled and left them room, Brian followed behind her. They walked down the stairs in Brian's home and went to the kitchen. Olivia sat at the bar stool in front of the island and watched as Brian made pancakes for themselves.

Brian was flipping the pancakes on the griddle over when Olivia stood behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist. She leaned her head on his back and breathed in deeply. Brian turned in her arms so he was facing her. He put the pancake flipper down and picked Olivia up so her legs were wrapped around his waist. He walked over to the counter and set her on it. She laughed and kissed him quickly before he went to flip the pancakes.

"What are we going to do all day, Monica?" He asked as he finished what he was doing.

"I don't know about you but I want to just spend a lazy day with my boyfriend."

He put two pancakes on a plate for Olivia and three on a plate for himself and brought them to the table while Olivia jumped down and followed him.

"I think that sounds perfect." He smiled and pulled the chair out for her to sit.

They ate their pancakes and quietly chatted. Soon they finished and did the dishes together then sat on the couch, Brian holding Olivia.

Brian began to play with her hair. She laughed quietly. "What?" he asked.

She shook her head. "Nothing. I like it when you play with my hair."

Brian smiled and continued. "Want to watch a movie?"

Olivia looked at him. "We won't even pay attention to it. I know you've been waiting to kiss me and movies are just an excuse to do that."

They both laughed. "You are smart, I'll give you that Monica Baxter."

Olivia blushed and kissed Brian. He kissed her back, moving her so that she was straddling him on the couch. He pulled back and looked into her eyes lovingly. He silently asked for permission and she nodded then kissed him again. He slowly stood up, carrying her back to his bedroom while kissing her.

* * *

><p>Olivia and Brian lay in the bed, their arms wrapped around each other.<p>

Brian kissed her cheek. "That was amazing, Mon."

Olivia smiled and kissed his hand. She felt lucky to have found someone like Brian. She felt like he genuinely cared about her, even though they had really been dating only two and a half months. Olivia could see herself spending the rest of her life with Brian. Then she remembered. Brian didn't know who she really was. She was just Monica Baxter to him. Tears filled her eyes. She wished more than anything she could tell Brian who she was. She knew she could trust him. What scared her was he was a detective. He could easily see a picture of Olivia Benson and recognize it as Monica Baxter. She has done something similar to that. Finding detectives in different units in different states who knew something about the case she was working. Olivia had travelled to many different states related to work. She had come close to Montana. Instead she went to North Dakota.

Brian heard her sniff to hold back her tears. He sat up and looked at Olivia. "Monica, what's wrong?" He looked at her with concern.

She shook her head. "I guess I'm just a little homesick." That wasn't really what was wrong but it was partly the truth. She really was homesick.

"Chicago, you mean?" He held her hands.

She nodded. "Yeah."

Brian pulled her into his lap and hugged her. "It's okay. This is your home now, Mon."

She nodded. Part of her wished this place wouldn't be her home much longer. The other part wished she could live here forever with Brian.

Olivia knew she had to tell Brian who she really was in order to save their relationship. She felt like she could trust him, but she didn't know how he would react and if it was the best idea. Her life would be in jeopardy if he happened to let it slip. She felt like it was a risk she was going to have to take.


End file.
